Dirty Little Secret
by Enzed
Summary: When all hope seems lost, when your world comes crumbling down.  Who can you turn to, who can you trust?  And who will be there for you no matter what?
1. The Delusion of Love

_Okay, so I am aware that this chapter isn't good. But it gets better, I promise! _

_This is my first time publishing on , so bear with me ._

_Feedback/reviews/whatever is appreciated!_

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

As if in slow motion, my father stood before me. Stress was carved into his face, as I braced myself for the inevitable. The hand strengthened from years of carving and woodwork slammed into my fragile cheek, causing an eruption of pain and disorientation.

"You're not my daughter. I don't know you anymore."

It felt as if the entire ocean slammed into me, its natural force winding me and causing me to internally double over in emotional pain. I looked up into his brown eyes, and felt no love or connection to the man that was my father. Cell phone in hand, I raced out the door, blindingly clueless as to where I should go. Running as far away from that house as I could, tears began to stream down my face as I wept for the pain that swam inside of me. My feet directed me to Kurt's house. Of course; while my body was full of grief and anger, unable to concentrate – let alone figure out where to go now – my internal compass always head due safety. Which just happened to be Kurt Hummel's house.

Broken down, an emotional wreck, I made my way down their concrete driveway, and tried to hold myself together long enough to knock on the door. I heard the reassuring footsteps as I hastily wiped my cheeks to slightly remove the tell-tale signs of distress. The wooden door opened to reveal the angelic face of my best friend. He looked me over before bringing me into a quick, warm embrace. I desperately tried to savour the moment as he murmured reassurance. He then took my hand and led me down the stairs to the basement. When he had first told me he wanted to live in the basement, I imagined a dusty, dirty room with a rotting bed and a moth eaten lampshade feebly lighting the room. Naturally, Kurt had become well acquainted with the Ikea catalogue and the room looked fantastically modern and was delicately decorated – not too overdone, not too bare. He sat me down on the chaise and held me in his arms as I rested my head on his shoulder, tears helplessly wetting his shirt.

"Sorry 'bout all this." I snuffled through tears.

"Don't be silly." He gently whispered as his thumb softly traced patterns on my hand. Although we were awkwardly positioned, it was somewhat comforting. Just the feel of his body close against mine was enough to reduce the full scale crying to annoying hiccupping.

"I'm here now, it's okay, I'm here now…" he repeatedly murmured, his sweet scent washing over me as I buried my head deeper into his chest, as if he could protect me from any harm.

And he held me for an hour, as I gradually became calm enough to explain what happened. I quickly retold the story of what had taken place, silent tears snaking down my cheek at the disowning part. I still couldn't believe it. When I had finished, he sat still for a moment, thinking. Then he turned and looked at me, his blue eyes melting my heart.

"Come live with me."

I sat up, shocked. He wanted me to move in with him? Was he serious? And when I asked him just that, he chuckled and held me closer. "Of course. You have nowhere else to go; you can't expect me to just dump you on the street and leave you to fend for yourself." The man made a valid point, but I was still unsure.

"I don't want to impose…" he rolled his eyes as I slightly blushed. "I mean, I can't just barge into your house and declare it my new home –"he cut me off, placing a finger softly against my lips. I barely breathed as he looked at me, then let out a deep breath as he removed the finger and used it to take a lock of my hair and tuck it behind my ear.

"It's not even an option for you. We'll set up a bed for you in the corner. I'm not letting you go back there. You deserve better, Kristen." He smiled at those last words, looking down at me affectionately. I wiped my cheek to rid of the last tears and attempted a smile.

"Thanks, Kurt. I really appreciate it."


	2. The Beginning of the End

_I hope you find this chapter better than the first. Enjoy, and remember to review/comment/whatever! :D_

I awoke to find myself tangled in Kurt Hummels strong arms. I sat up and glanced at him, only to find his blue eyes following me, a small smile on his face. Suddenly knocked over by a wave of self-consciousness, I feebly directed my attention to pulling my hair into a pathetic ponytail. As I was doing so, I asked him whether he had gotten any sleep last night.

"Nearly," he responded, "but your nightmares kept me awake."

My mind flickered back to the images of my father chasing me with a crowbar, yelling curses and swearing that I wasn't his daughter.

Huh.

Strange. Those images had been so vivid; I could have sworn they were more than dreams.

"Oh." I mumbled, embarrassed. "Did I….say anything?"

He flinched.

"Nope."

_It was either late at night or early morning when Kurt sat bolt upright in bed. Or on the chaise, as he soon remembered his location. And more importantly, his occupation, which just happened to be Kristen's pillow. He sighed – happy to be helping her out, but distressed that his legs had no blood circulating through them. Just when he decided that the only thing he could do was to simply move over, she started speaking – if that was what you could call it. At first it was just muffled noises that he couldn't make out, but then it became a distinct calling. "No…no…no…" he watched her carefully. "No….Kurt. Kurt. Mmm…" his eyes widened. "Please…." He held one arm around her strongly, and the other wiped her damp forehead, kissing it softly as he did so. "Kurt…don't let me go."_

"_I won't, Kristen. I'm here."_

I watched as Kurt pointedly stared at his hands, clearly reminiscing something. I stretched sheepishly, yawning as I did so. "Well I'm sorry about whatever I did. Or said. I'll make a point to duct tape my mouth closed and bind myself before sleeping." With this statement he looked up, shaking his head softly. Rolling my eyes and mumbling something about bullshit, I arose from the chaise and headed to where I vaguely remembered the bathroom being. Locking the door behind me, I briefly glanced at my reflection before washing my face with the cold water. Drying it with a towel that was hanging beside the sink, I left the room and went down the stairs to the basement. Kurt, not realising that I was there, was picking out designer clothes to wear. Settling on some expensive jeans and an obviously over-priced jacket, he turned around and headed for behind the privacy partition. Seeing me standing on the stairs, he frowned, before an evil grin played upon his angelic features.

"Oh no." I sighed.

"Oh yes.

We're going shopping."

"Kurt, please. I'm literally begging you. My clothes are fine! I don't need new ones!"

Already dressed, he turned and looked at me, one delicate eyebrow raised.

"Oh really. And which one of us is going to go over to your house where your father is and get them? Because that certainly won't be me."

Seeing my torn face, he smirked. "Exactly." And with that, he grabbed my hand and forcefully led me towards his closet, or in other words, my personal hell. Apparently knowing exactly what he was doing, he selected some jeans, a shirt and a belt. Pushing me behind the partition, he waited for me to get changed. I sighed as I reluctantly pulled the clothes on. I wasn't even going to ask why he had women's clothes in his closet that were my perfect size.

"Done?"

There was no mirror to look myself over in, so the only other choice I had was to step out from behind the partition and face Kurt's look over. Internally bracing myself, I stepped out. I stared at my hands as he playfully smiled, walking around me, making sure I looked good from all angles.

"You look amazing." Seeing me about to rebuke, he took my hand and led me to the mirror. The girl in the mirror did indeed look amazing. A slimming black shirt clashed well with the grey jeans, and the colours suited her perfectly. I turned and gave him a brief hug.

"Thanks…I guess I do need to trust you more."

"Of course you do. Now let's get some breakfast – we have a big day ahead of us."

I had originally been wondering what Kurt's dad would say when he woke up to find a stranger in his house, sleeping with his gay son. But apparently Kurt had this covered – his dad had gone down at night to check on him when he found me asleep in his arms. Kurt had quickly told him what had happened, and Burt had agreed to let me stay until things got sorted out.

Sitting down at their table, I began to eat my breakfast, nervously awaiting the arrival of Burt. As I finished my toast, Kurt sat down to eat, and I went to wash my dishes. While placing the cleaned plate and cup in the cupboards, Kurt's dad came down. Seeing me putting my stuff away, he smiled gruffly. "Nice to meet you, Kristen." He shook my hand as I attempted what I hoped was a smile back. My hand nearly suffocated in his strong grasp. Kurt, seeing me finished, stood up and briskly walked over to me.

"Morning, dad. Kristen and I are going to go shopping to get her some clothes."

"Oh lord. Good luck, Kristen. And Kurt?"

"Yes, dad?"

"Try not to get carried away."

Kurt rolled his eyes adorably as he strode purposefully out of the room. Bidding Burt a good day, I followed suit, except less arrogantly.

I hoped.


	3. Horror of Hummel Shopping

_This chapter is a bit long, but I think you'll enjoy it. Remember to review/comment/whatever. It would make my day :'D_

Although blistering hot outside, the interior of the sleek black Navigator was cool and fancy, the air conditioner sufficiently providing us with much needed cold air. Travelling down the highway, we sang along to the classic tunes on the radio, laughing and giggling the entire journey. Kurt claimed that the malls just out of Lima held the best stock, so that was where we were headed. Fortunately the weather was supposedly more manageable there, so I was completely fine with the journey, even though my weak stomach typically couldn't handle long distance. Upon arriving at our destination, Kurt turned into fashion mission mode as I eyed the colossal building that was the mall. I dreaded what I knew was waiting for me – hours of trying on outfits just to have them dismissed with a grimace and snide comment. As boring and excruciatingly painful as this was deemed, I decided I would suffer the pain for the fashionable outfits. They weren't joking when they said 'No pain, no gain.'

Closing the doors to his 'baby', we turned and headed for the mall. As we walked, Kurt gave me a brief lecture about what he had in mind.

"I know you love your 'I just got out of bed' look, but for me, it simply will not suffice. No, not at all. So we'll still keep it relatively simple – even though it kills me inside – but we will try and...kick it up a notch at the same time."

I gulped instinctively as he grabbed my hand and practically dragged me towards the nearest clothing shop he could find. I took a deep breath, and followed him in.

Three hours and two diet cokes later, we had finally reached the last clothing store. Kurt had assured me that if we could not find at least ten new outfits here, there were plenty other malls around, some even bigger than this one. I shuddered from my place in the changing room, remembering the enthusiasm in his voice.

He was teasing me.

He knew I was dying a little inside.

I turned to face the mirror, horrified at the reflection. I had assumed that "kicking it up a notch" was simply making the shirts more fashionable. What I had not imagined was this. This outfit was totally not me. I opened the door and stepped out; glaring at Kurt with eyes I hoped bore holes in his stupid expensive jacket. He studied me, before dismissing me with a wave of his hand. "Thank. Christ." I muttered as I stalked back into the changing room to try on the next outfit. I swear I could hear Kurt muffling a giggle.

He was enjoying this.

Turning to face my next horror, I nearly threw up in my mouth.

A skirt?

He was kidding, right?

Taking the filth from the hook, I stepped outside and held it up for Kurt to see.

"You put this in there on purpose."

Kurt wore a shocked expression, as a manicured hand rose to his chest in mock horror.

"Me? No! Why would I do such a thing?"

"Kurt, its pink. PINK. And it's a skirt!"

He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Oh my gosh, it's a skirt. Everyone, brace safety position, because the sky is falling."

Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows.

"Okay, fine. But still." He grabbed the skirt from me and tossed it into the clothing bin. "Your reaction _was_ pretty funny." He smirked, dodging my kick cockily. "Sweetie, try that again and I swear I'll force you into a dress."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

I glared angrily before storming into the changing room.

This was going to be a long day.

It was twelve o'clock, and Kurt and I were settled in the food court, having some lunch. We had decided on sushi; it was the healthiest choice here, and it sure beat fatty hamburgers and greasy fries. I sulkily ate in silence, while Kurt eyed me suspiciously. I watched as it clicked. He put his chopsticks down, folded his arms and glared at me icily.

"Bitch knows how to hold a grudge."

"It was a _skirt,_ Kurt. A pink. Skirt."

"It would have looked nice on you!"

"Aside from the fact that you knew it was a joke and you only did it for my reaction. Plus you threatened me with a dress."

He sighed. "Fine. Kristen Grace Taylor, will you please forgive me?" he batted his long, dark eyelashes, and widened his eyes cutely. He was going puppy dog on me? Usually I would push it aside with an "I don't fall for that bullshit", but now I couldn't resist being on Kurt's good side. So I smiled, receiving a wink in recognition before I started eating again. As he had already finished - for some weird reason, I enjoyed savouring my food – he watched me warily.

"I'd like to make it up to you."

I looked up, excited. "You'll take me home?"

"Haha – no. No…I'd like to make a proposition."

I looked at him; I was undeniably curious, but also slightly suspicious by his tone. "What did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking…to make it up to you…you could pick an outfit of your own." He finished the sentence in a small voice, glaring down at the table. Clearly he desperately wanted my forgiveness for his attitude earlier on, otherwise he would not, under any circumstances, have let me choose my own outfit.

"Me? Pick something for _myself_ to wear? What an honour." Kurt rolled his eyes – something that he was doing a lot more often lately. "Well I can't argue with that. I accept. And with that, you are officially forgiven. God bless America, all hail the Queen."

He smirked before picking up our empty containers and placing them in the bin as we made our way past the food courts to the clothing store that we had passed an hour back. I recalled spying a fancy jacket in the display window. Kurt grimaced when I showed him. "Aw come on. Just because it's not a designer label doesn't mean it won't look good!" He gave me expression that clearly said 'my knowledge is clearly superior to your own, but whatever gets you to sleep at night.' But he sighed and walked in, clearly not going to back down on his idea to make it up to me. I laughed as I followed, singing, "Well well well. Hummel decides to play nice for a change!" as I basked in his ice cold glare.

After having reluctantly paid for the outfit that in his eyes should be burned, Kurt decided that I had enough outfits for the next two weeks and that it was time to leave. Upon exiting through the sliding doors I was confronted with a rush of cold, fresh air.

"Ah, how refreshing freedom tastes." I smiled happily before sliding into the leather seats of the Navigator, earning yet another eye roll from Kurt. And with that, we were on our way home; armed with ten full bags of clothes and shoes.

I had survived a Kurt Hummel shopping trip.

What a feat, indeed.


	4. Settling In

_Thanks for reading these guys – you have no idea how excited I get over something simple like a nice review. :D_

Parking the shiny black Navigator into the driveway, Kurt Hummel descended from his position behind the steering wheel, closing the door carefully behind him. I, although not as gracefully or carefully, followed suit. Staggering with my six bags full of clothes, shoes, and accessories towards the house, I watched as Kurt managed the load just fine, not showing any signs of just how heavy the bags were. I guess he was used to the weight, him with his obsession with makeovers. Despite having to make two trips, I eventually managed to haul all of the bags from the day's trip into Kurt's room. As I was unpacking and admiring my new clothes, Burt came down.

"You're still alive." he smirked.

"I was amazed too." Burt smiled gruffly.

"I kinda expected you to either be moaning in pain or crying."

"I was bargaining on the latter." I replied half-heartedly.

Sensing my desire to be left alone, Burt nodded in my direction before turning to head back to watching sports on their television.

"Oh, and sir?"

He turned and looked me over curiously. "Call me Burt, Kristen."

"Sorry. Um, Burt…thanks for having me. I really do appreciate it."

"No problem." He nodded again, before heading back upstairs.

As I hung the last of the clothes in the closet, I turned to find Kurt watching me, frowning. I sighed.

"Yes?"

He didn't respond. It wasn't until a minute later that he shook his head, before murmuring "nevermind."

I decided not to press the matter further. If he'd wanted to tell me, he would have done so. Sitting down beside him on the bed, the thought of tomorrow suddenly occurred to me.

"Tomorrows Monday…"

"That's amazing, Kristen."

"All my schoolbooks…"

There was silence as the realization hit us. Either I go to school with no books, or I go to my dad's house. We sat, quiet, lost in our own trains of thought for a moment. Personally I was arranging my excuse as to why I had no books. My theory was that if Burt signed a formal document, there was no way that they couldn't deny it…

"What about if your mom gave you the books? She'll understand."

And with that, I grabbed my cellphone, and called mom. I breathed in deeply as Kurt moved to stand beside me.

"Kristen? Kristen! Is that you?"

"Yeah, mom…"

"Oh I had been worried sick! Thank goodness you are alright! I've been trying to ring your phone all day! Where are you?"

Her response came out in a quick stream of words. I tried to remain calm as I replied.

"I'm at Kurt's. Mom, I need you to bring all my school stuff to his house, as well as my toothbrush, hairbrush, pajamas and underwear."

I muttered the last part quietly, embarrassed to admit these essentials in front of my male friend.

There was silence on the other line for a moment, before mom regained her composure.

"Yeah yeah, of course…yes. I'll be there soon. "

And with that, the line was cut off.

I guess she doesn't take rejection easily. I didn't dare share a glance with Kurt.

I was scared my face would betray me.

_I tried not to listen as Kristen and her mom exchanged solemn farewells. Despite her feeble attempts at masking her sorrow, I had seen the expression on her face after the brief phone call with her mom. I watched as she mumbled something about the bathroom and disappeared for ten minutes. That was enough for me to realise how she must be feeling._

_Not long after she returned from the bathroom, her mom arrived, carrying the items Kristen had asked for. In a way, I was thankful. I was not willing to go on a bra shopping trip…definitely not my area of expertise._

_Eventually she returned, holding her schoolbag and a plastic bag full of toiletries and other essentials. Placing them in their designated drawers, she returned to stand in front of me. I shot her a questioning glance as she reached into her satchel._

"Rent." I faked a smile as I saw his eyes gleam with pure joy. "I guess she thought it might be comforting."

"That was thoughtful of her." he said absent mindedly as he reached for the DVD and made his way downstairs. I began to debate her true intentions before pushing it aside and following his lead. Settling down on the fold out sofa in front of the unnecessarily large television that hung from the grey wall, I fiddled as Kurt popped in the DVD and came to sit beside me.

As the movie began to play, Kurt felt my shivering legs and pulled the blanket up over us. Casually slinging his arm around my shoulder, I rested my head against his shoulder; it seemed to fit perfectly, like a custom made pillow – except bonier, and more fragile.

But I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it.

My question was…did he?


	5. It's A New Dawn, It's A New Day

_Here's chapter five! Remember to leave reviews/comments/whatever. It would really mean a lot ~_

Kurt drove the sleek Navigator into his designated spot in the parking lot. He turned to face me, his penetrating blue eyes searching me for signs of distress. I stared ahead.

"Are you ready?" he asked softy.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I sighed as I slid out of the Navigator. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I joined Kurt as we set out, striding purposefully through the parking lot towards the school's doors.

"Just remember – confidence is key." Kurt murmured as he stuck his chin up and pushed the doors open. I walked in slowly.

I had feared the worst – heads swivelling towards me, curious and unmerciful eyes boring holes in my new jacket as I attempted to shrug off the snide comments and pointing.

But all was normal.

Cheerleaders gossiped happily as jocks located their recipient of the morning slushie facial. In groups of five nerds scurried, heads down, through the hallways to their homeroom classes.

Either no one knew my story…or no one cared.

Kurt surveyed the scene, suspicion in his blue eyes. "Coast seems clear. Come on, we have to get to homeroom." Linking arms with me, we hurried down the seemingly endless hallway.

Finally reaching homeroom, we settled down into our desks; greeted by the piercing screech of the bell.

"Showtime." He sighed unhappily as students began to enter the classroom one by one. "Oh, and by the way, Mercedes is angry at me because I didn't return her calls over the weekend. Do you mind if I tell her about what happened, so she doesn't hate me forever?"

"Sure." I smiled as our teacher entered the room, creating silence with her menacing glare.

Time to face a new day.

As the bell sounded the end of fourth period, I closed my biology textbook and hurried out of class. It was time for Glee Club – the one thing that had kept me motivated throughout the dreary day. Kurt had just suffered through a double math period on the other side of the school, so I set out to rehearsal by myself. Lost in my own train of thought, I walked right into Jacob Ben Israel's path.

"Confirm or deny that your father disowned you."

His voice sang out as he shoved his microphone to my mouth mercilessly.

I squirmed under his gaze. I knew that my hesitation was proof enough, so I mumbled a "yes" and went to walk around him. However as I noted his triumphant expression, I realised that I had no idea how he even knew.

"How did you even find out, you creep?" I stammered.

"I overheard Kurt telling Mercedes second period." I groaned, exasperated at either Kurt's loud mouth or Jacob's keen hearing. Making a mental note to talk to Kurt after glee club, I began to walk away.

"Why?"

I stopped dead in my tracks. A shiver snaked down my spine as I paused, terrified. What should I say? Oh god, what do I say.

"Why did your father disown you?" Jacob repeated, taking a step towards my turned back.

"Um…there is no comment available at this time?" I said as I sprinted off to Glee Club, still in a state of shock.

Jacob had brought up a very good point. When people started asking questions, what was I supposed to tell them?

Kurt's angelic face wavered in front of my eyes. Oh god, Kurt.

He deserved the truth, yet…

I opened the doors of the room to see all members of the club's eyes fixed on me.

"Sorry I'm late. Jacob…" Rachel huffed as Santana rolled her eyes at the mention of the Jewish blogger. I sat down next to Kurt and focused my attention on the recently arrived Mr Schue, determined to ignore Kurt's questioning gaze for as long as I could.

"Okay, now let's get started.

I will assign you all a partner. With that partner, you will find a song that fits you both and sell it. I'm talking costumes, choreography, the works."

Everyone sat up, excited at Mr Schue's words. Everyone always enjoyed the opportunity to go full out. I watched Kurt's eyes glaze over at the thought of designing the costumes. I mentally cringed at the horrors ahead.

"Okay, so we have: Tina and Mike, Artie and Quinn, Santana and Rachel, Finn and Brittany, Kurt and Kristen, and that leaves Puck and Mercedes."

Artie gazed on sadly as Tina and Mike smiled happily at each other. Santana and Rachel shared a disgusted look that was mirrored on Puck and Mercedes' expressions. Kurt shared a smile which I returned in response.

At least I hope it was a smile.

It felt more like a grimace.

"Alright, I'll leave you to begin discussing your song choices with your partners."

Santana, Rachel, Mercedes and Puck grudgingly arose from their positions to begin their assignments with their partners. Kurt turned to face me.

"Kristen. What happened with Jacob? You've been out of it all of rehearsal."

I sighed. "Well, thanks to circumstances that I cannot determine, Jacob overheard your conversation with Mercedes."

"Shoot. But I whispered!"

"Kurt, let's be realistic here. You don't whisper normally, you stage whisper."

"Meaning?" he asked huffily.

"Meaning that everyone in a one meter radius can hear exactly what you're saying."

"Oh." He murmured, as if this came as some sort of surprise to him.

"Oh indeed." I sighed.

"So…what did he say?" Kurt asked quietly, no doubt knowing my sensitivity over the subject.

"He just asked me to confirm whether or not I had been disowned…" I hesitated.

"And?"

"And I said yes."

"And that was it?" he pushed.

"And that was it. I'm just upset about the whole thing, alright? No big deal." I retorted moodily.

Even I could hear the frustration in my voice, and I immediately regretted using that tone with Kurt. Poor, unsuspecting Kurt, who always assumed the best in me.

I watched him pout slightly out of the corner of my eye.

"I'm sorry…I just, you know…" I mumbled, ashamed.

"It's okay, Kristen." And I watched as the pout transformed into a heart-warming smile.

God, I loved that smile.

"So, did you have any ideas for our song?" I asked.

Kurt was in mid-response when Mr Schue walked over to us.

"Kristen, can I talk to you for a second?"

Kurt and I exchanged a puzzled expression before I stood up.

"Sure." I muttered as we made our way over to the piano, away from the sharp hearing of the fellow glee club members.

"I heard about your…family situation." He began slowly.

I remained silent.

Dammit. First Jacob, now Mr Schue?

"Well, I'd just like to offer my support. I'm always here to talk, and I can arrange meetings with Miss Pilsbury if you would like."

I groaned inwardly. That was just what I needed – even more attention drawn to my situation.

"Thanks for the offer, but I don't think those meetings will be necessary…"

My shoes suddenly became very interesting, as I felt Mr Schue's gaze bore into my forehead.

"Well, okay. But if you ever need to talk, I'm here."

Psshht. That was likely.

"Thanks. Oh, and Mr Schue?" I called out to his receding figure. He turned around. "How did you even find out?"

"I overheard you and Jacob's conversation on my way to Glee Club."

I sighed. I hadn't even seen Mr Schue in the corridor.

Sneaky bastard.

I trudged back to where Kurt was sitting. It was inevitable that he would ask me what happened, despite the fact that I was really not in the mood to explain things.

"So, I was thinking we could do a song by Britney Spears. One number was absolutely not enough…"

As Kurt continued to talk about song choices, I remained silent, thanking the lord that Kurt had used tact for once.


	6. Beaten

_This is a bit of a short chapter, I'm sorry _

Hugging my knees to my chest, I gazed up at the full moon. Its serene glow shone gently upon Kurt's yard, the dry grass sighing in the soft breeze. From the porch I reminisced about my life…before. I remained still while the door slid open, and a figure emerged behind me.

"Aren't you cold?"

"Kinda." I replied solemnly. The biting breeze did not bother me; the pain was nice, in an odd way. Nevertheless, I accepted the blanket that Kurt had shrugged over my thin shoulders. He sat beside me, and together we gazed up at the beautiful night sky.

"So many stars." He sighed, as I rested my head on his delicate shoulder. We sat in a comfortable silence, lost in our own thoughts.

_How did I end up here?_ Even my thoughts were lined with bitterness. _Kurt doesn't deserve my shit. _

"It wasn't your fault, you know." He looked at me, his expression soft and warm. I sighed. He was still blissfully unaware of my true situation.

And that's what hurt the most.

"And you know that I am always here for you, no matter what." He said quietly.

Those small words stung like a million shards of broken glass piercing my skin simultaneously.

And those small words hurt so much because I actually doubted them.

Taking my hand in his, Kurt began tracing patterns on my skin gently while I pondered just how to respond.

"Really?" I settled for the question that was deemed the most important.

"Of course." He replied instantly – his loyalty to me, apparently, required no deep thought.

"Mhmm." I murmured. Kurt's response was broken by the sound of another voice joining the conversation.

"There's hot chocolate on the bench if you want it."

Before we could turn around, Burt had gone. No doubt back to Carol, whom he still frequently went out with, despite the fact that they no longer lived together; thanks to Finn.

As Kurt stood up, I remained seated. Sensing my lack of presence beside him, he turned around.

"You coming?"

"Yeah. Just give me a minute." I answered quietly, as he shrugged and entered the warmth of the house.

Left to my thoughts once again, I allowed myself to be succumbed by the tidal wave of emotions.

Angry.

Scared.

Alone.

And most of all…beaten.

But before I let them become the best of me, I followed Kurt inside for some hot chocolate.

Because sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference.

_Please review/comment/whatever ! (:_


	7. With My Heart Pounding In My Chest

_Here's chapter 7 :D thanks for reading ! and don't forget to comment/review!_

_It would really mean a lot :'D_

Collecting my tray, I made my way through the throng of cliques to my table. Passing the jocks and the Cheerios, I made my way to the very back of the hall – the nesting area of the McKinley High official losers, as decided by none other than the populars themselves.

What an honour.

Sliding into my chair next to Kurt's, I pretended to listen to Rachel's high speed lecture to us about how her performance with Santana will be much better and grander than all of ours, despite our opinions which were, from this point onwards, irrelevant. Leaning into Kurt's ear, I heard Mercedes whisper, "Didn't we suffer through this same lecture on Tuesday?" Kurt nodded once in her direction, before rolling his eyes and continuing to nibble on his celery.

"….and that is why my performance will be far superior to all of yours." Rachel finished after what seemed like hours. Looking to my left, I noticed that Artie had actually fallen asleep.

Poor little guy.

As the piercing bell screeched the arrival of last period, I shook Artie awake from his peaceful slumber. He sat up in his chair with a start, his shocked expression causing Mercedes, Kurt and I to double over in fits of laughter. Artie sulkily adjusted his glasses as I stood up to push him to last period.

After cheerful goodbyes and a promise to meet Kurt by his car after school, Kurt and Mercedes began to make their way to Spanish, while Artie and I headed to English. Currently we were studying Shakespeare – an inevitable subject to study, but its predictability did not alter the great pains and grief that it brought. Steering Artie through the corridors, I pushed us into our classroom.

Settling down into my desk, I drew my textbook, pencil case and refill out of my bag, and prepared myself for the next hour of boredom. As other students came dawdling in, I began to absent mindedly doodle. First it was just squiggles and love hearts, but then I began drawing the most prominent thing on my mind – Kurt.

As Mr Pike began to monotonously drone on about the human behaviour lessons in Romeo and Juliet, I drew Kurt's perfectly styled hair, his thin lips shaped in his happy, signature smirk. My pencil carved his favourite blue sweater into the paper, and recorded his pure blue eyes.

After what felt like ten minutes, I sat back to look at what I had completed. Kurt stood on my page; his arms placed delicately on his hips, his eyes twinkling, happiness etched into his young face. I allowed myself a small smile – the drawing didn't look half bad. Swapping my pencil for my pen, I began to take notes.

"Alright class, I'll see you with your essays on Friday." Mr Pike said, as the class stuffed their belongings into their bags and headed out the door.

"Shit." I swore under my breath, as I hurriedly picked up my stuff and headed for Artie's receding figure.

"Artie!" I called out urgently. He turned around, accidentally rolling over someone's foot in the process. Grinning at me, he asked, "What's up?"

"I kinda dozed off back then. Can I borrow your notes?" I asked, faking a smile.

"Sure thing." He laughed, handing them to me. Promising to copy them and bring them back to him tomorrow, I began to push him towards the car park. On our way, we discussed Halo Reach.

"I want to play it so bad, but I can't afford it." I moaned.

"I bought it yesterday. Want to come over on Friday and play?" he asked.

"YES!" I squealed in delight, making Artie laugh happily.

"Well, my mom is waiting for me over there. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course. See you!" I produced a genuine smile as I headed off to Kurt's navigator. I could see Kurt's silhouette through the tinted glass, and I knew he was watching me. Lost in my thoughts, I tripped over the curb in front of his car.

Laughing at myself, I began to pick up my things. Hearing the slam of a door, I looked up to see Kurt rushing to help me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

I nodded in response, before giggling uncontrollably. It was completely typical of me to trip over the curb, especially when it was due to daydreaming. Stuffing my textbook and pencil case into my bag, I let Kurt carry my refill into the car.

"You are such a moron." He groaned as I sat next to him, handing my refill to me.

"But you love it." I teased.

"Mhmm." He murmured, before reversing out of his spot and heading home.

I remained silent as my heart soared right out of my chest and into the clouds.

It was one in the morning.

Not my favourite time to be awake, but I had been waiting for Kristen to finally fall asleep.

I had stared into the dark, listening for the gentle inhaling and exhaling that confirmed Kristen's sub conscious state.

And now, at this god forsaken hour, the time had finally come to unfold the piece of paper than had fallen out of Kristen's refill.

It could be nothing – it could be Shakespeare notes, it could just be her usual doodles of banana serial killers.

But something told me that this was different, that this was something significant. So I gently clicked my torch awake, and with shaking hands, opened the paper.

I looked down at myself, feeling my eyes widen.

Kristen had drawn me perfectly. Somehow, she had managed to capture my attitude and draw it. My hair, my favourite outfit – all of it.

And as I sat there, I drew my eyes away from myself and down to the bottom of the page where Kristen had scrawled something in her beautiful handwriting that I never ceased to admire.

Kurt Hummel – 3

My heart began to beat faster in my chest. For a minute, I thought its loud pounding would awake Kristen from her slumber. My mind became numb, as one doodled love heart changed my perspective on the world.

Was it just a doodle? Or did she really love me?  
And why, if I was gay – did I feel like I loved her back?

Closing the piece of paper and tucking it away into my drawer, I laid down to sleep, with that question haunting my peaceful dreams of her.


	8. When Reality Is Your Nightmare

My eyes flew open as I sat up with a start.

Something wasn't right. It was five am, for God's sake. Why was I awake this damn early?

Acid bubbled in my stomach, and I sat still as it travelled up my throat.

Shit.

Tearing the sleeping bag open, I ran to the bathroom. Slamming the door in my haste, I kneeled over the toilet. Gripping the seat, I began to hurl.

Tears ran uncontrollably down my face as I retched. After a while, the flow ceased. I sat back, wiping my eyes.

Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me into a tight embrace. Desperation sought control over my mind, causing me to sob hysterically. A hand brushed the hair out of my eyes, and I felt a moist toilette cool my damp forehead. I leaned back into Kurt's arms, the cold tiles piercing my thighs.

But that didn't matter now. Nothing did.

The last thing I saw before I blacked out was Kurt's eyebrows pulled into a tight frown, and his beautiful eyes gazing at me with affectionate concern.

It had been five weeks since that night.

I could remember it as if it was yesterday – of course, I refused to.

The memory of it was – and is – a huge black paint splat on the canvas of my life.

And this morning confirmed what I had somewhat known all along.

I was pregnant.

And I hated the bastard child of that bastard man. I hated that I blamed myself even if it wasn't my fault. I hated that my life had been ruined by a stranger whose face I never even saw. I hated that I had ruined Matt's life and reputation so much that he'd had to move away. And what I hated, over everything else, was that I was too scared to tell Kurt the truth.

I looked over at Kurt, who was too busy concentrating on driving to notice me.

If only I could tear my soul apart, throw away the pieces into the fire, never to be seen again.

Because I wanted to tell Kurt, to tell him everything – to spill my tainted heart out to his pure one.

To tell him how dirty and used I felt, how my sorrow became one man's pleasure, how I would never be the same again.

Yet once again, fear conquered me. I was paralyzed by my fear of his reaction, despite his promise.

"_And you know that I am always here for you, no matter what."_

And now that Matt had gone, I was alone.

Frightfully and indefinitely alone.

Even my father had deserted me, after discovering the positive pregnancy tester in my bin. Too angered to seek the truth, I'd been disowned.

Kurt was the only family I had, and I owed him so much. I owed him the truth.

A gentle cough brought me out of my reverie.

I had been so caught up in my despair that I hadn't noticed that Kurt had already parked the car and got out. Blinking, I began to get out of the car. Naturally, Kurt had been waiting for me outside.

"Sorry. A bit distracted lately." I mumbled, staring at the ground as if it was actually interesting.

"It's okay." Kurt murmured.

Huh.

For once, Kurt was lost in his own thoughts, too.

"Kristen…" he began slowly. I looked at him. "…is everything okay?"

He had stopped walking.  
"Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't it be?" I faked enthusiasm.

"Well, this morning you kind of vomited two days worth of food into the toilet, then passed out. That, and you haven't talked to me all morning. You may have fooled my Dad, but I'm not an idiot."

Crap.

Despite how bad I felt when I lied to him, I wasn't exactly ready to tell him the truth.

"I might have a bit of food poisoning. I've never trusted the cafeteria's food; I wouldn't put it past them."

He stared at me, before nodding slowly.

"Reasonable. That chicken did taste a bit off yesterday, after all."

I smiled, thankful that he bought it. Before I could give a response, we were joined by Mercedes.

"Hey Kurt! Hey Kristen!" she smiled, giving us both a brief hug.

And as we walked off to first period Algebra, I could swear I saw Kurt watching me carefully out of the corner of my eye.


	9. Mindless Sitcoms and Stomach Cramps

_Okay, so it's been brought to my attention a few…misunderstandings? Hahaha, okay so here's the thing. No, Kurt will not end up straight. However it is my fanfiction, and quite frankly I'm going to write what I want. And Kristen is an original character, I didn't think that really needed explaining :D_

_So yeah! Remember to review (:_

Chapter 9 – Mindless Sitcoms and Stomach Cramps

"So how are everyone's assignments going?"

This question was met with a mixture of responses from the members of the glee club, ranging from "ugh," to "very well, thank you Mr Schuester."

I listened as Kristen did not chime in with everyone else. She just simply sat there, not making her presence known.

To be frank, I was worried about her.

I had never bought her oh-its-just-food-poisoning act, but I pretended to - for her sake. If something was seriously wrong then I reasoned that she would tell me when she was ready.

But now I was beginning to think that she was making herself throw up. Kristen had always been one to compare herself to people like Quinn – gorgeous, of course. But what she couldn't see was just how beautiful she was already, that she didn't need to change.

Just as I promised to talk to her about it, the soft red in her cheeks faded, leaving her skin a pale white. Her eyes widened, and her mouth fell open in a small 'o'.

"Kristen?" I asked, interrupting Mr Schue in mid speech. The attention of the club all turned to her as she grabbed her stomach and sprinted out of the room.

Silence followed.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Mercedes asked.

"I was about to ask the same thing…Kurt? Care to shed some light?" Mr Schue asked.

"Food poisoning." I muttered as I followed her out. Turning the corner, I watched as she hurried through the double doors and out into the car park. Cursing under my breath, I ran after her.

"Kristen!" I yelled, bursting through the doors and out into the fresh air.

And there she sat, against the doors of my Navigator. As I drew nearer, I saw tears streaming down her face. Her eyes had black bags under them; evidence of her sleepless nights. Kneeling down beside her, I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. Her brown, wavy hair tickled my arms as I rested my chin on the top of her head.

"Shhh, it's okay now. It's okay." I murmured absent mindedly, before gently kissing her head.

"Let's go home. I'll get last period notes off Mercedes later." Helping her up and into the car, I walked around and hopped into the driver's seat. Kristen's crying had been reduced to snuffling while I whipped out my phone and sent a short text to Mercedes, telling her that I was taking Kristen home.

Silence reigned the air as Kristen gained composure.

"Kris, what happened?" I asked gently.

"Stomach cramp." She whispered, as if by saying it aloud it would make the pain return.

"I'm worried about you, Kristen."

"Me too," she murmured. "Me too."

Reversing my Navigator into the driveway, I helped Kristen hobble out of the car and into the house. Sitting her down on the couch, I switched the television on. A brainless sitcom flickered to life, and I bustled around in the kitchen making hot chocolates while listening to their insignificant problems.

"Jerry, he's never going to make it!"

"He will. We just have to believe."

I groaned at the absurdity of it all, passing Kristen her warm mug before kneeling down in front of the DVD player. I hovered over _Rent_, before deciding on Kristen's favourite movie. I settled down into the couch as the _Harry Potter _theme song emitted eerily from the speakers. She smiled her rare smile – the one where her eyes sparkled and her whole face lighted up.

"Thank you… " she whispered happily, before sipping her hot chocolate.

By the time the end credits rolled up the screen, Kristen was fast asleep.

Typical.

I unfurled my legs, yawning as I stretched. Grabbing the nearest blanket, I delicately placed it over her shivering body. Sitting down beside her gently, I was careful not to change the weight of couch too much; I was afraid that any sudden movements would awake her, and she needed to sleep. Carefully, I brushed the hair off her forehead, and leant in to kiss her cheek gently.

I smiled at her peaceful expression, knowing that she had finally escaped the horrors of reality.


	10. With Arms Wide Open

_Okay, so I need to expand on what I said in my last chapter. There are twists in my story, and you may see Kurt and Kristen together – but then again, maybe not. It's all planned out though. :D_

_Thanks for reading and don't forget to review. :P_

Chapter 10 – With Arms Wide Open

My toast felt like concrete as it slid down my throat, and right now it had all the appeal of a pile of horse manure.

But for Kurt's sake, I forced myself to swallow my breakfast down. As soon as I had managed to finish it, I declared myself full and headed off to the bathroom.

The girl in the reflection looked very different from 8 weeks ago, the night it all began. Stressful, sleepless nights had carved dark bags under her eyes, and her usually long, brown curly hair was flat; all its life gone. The sparkle in her eyes had disappeared the same time as her virginity had, and the mask that she had worn was flaking away at the edges. Makeup only covered so much.

I was wearing the baggiest clothes I owned – sooner or later, I would need to go shopping. And not with Kurt – he would insist on trying on skin-hugging clothes. And that was exactly what I was trying to avoid.

I simultaneously felt angry, hurt and afraid; yet the most overwhelming emotion by far, was alone. Despite being surrounded by my close group of friends, I still had no one to confide in – no one I could tell the truth to. If I told Tina or Mercedes, it would eventually get told to Kurt.

And I wanted to be the one to tell him.

"Kristen?" a deep voice rumbled from outside the bathroom. Unlocking the door, I stepped out to greet Burt.

"Kristen. Kurt's gone to school early – something about a fashion emergency with Mercedes- so you can borrow one of my old trucks if you'd like. Nothing fancy, but they get the job done."

"Sounds good to me. Just lemme get my stuff…" I said as I headed downstairs to the basement. Shouldering my bag, I headed upstairs to the garage where Burt was waiting.

"Here she is." Burt said fondly. Chucking me the keys, I reached out both hands to catch them – and even then, failed.

"Simple tasks are always made awkward for the un-coordinated." I moaned as I bent down to pick up the keys. Chuckling as I got into the car, Burt headed back into the house to get ready for work.

"Have fun at school, kid." he waved as I drove off to school.

Long ago I would have found the silence in the van unnerving – the way it hung, musty in the cold air. But now, when silence and time alone was something rare, I treasured this time to think.

Parking the car in Kurt's usual spot, I opened the door and slid out of the driver's seat. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I mustered some strength and headed alone towards the double doors of hell.

Pushing the doors open, I stepped right into one of those cliché high school movies.

Heads swivelled robotically as I walked down the hallway. Students parted like the red sea, creating a path for me to walk down. Not out of respect, of course.

Heaven forbid.

Whispering, pointing. My name reverberated around the walls, spoken like it was some sort of contagious disease.

I vaguely knew what the hell was going on – it didn't take a genius to figure out that this was connected to my being disowned, nor to understand that Jacob Ben Israel was behind this.

So it should have come as no surprise when I saw a piece of paper taped to the door of my locker. Detaching it gingerly, I began to skim read the article – aware of everyone's eyes boring into my jacket. Hot scandal…year 11 student Kristen Taylor…disowned…disgrace to family…my eyes were drawn to the last statement on the paper.

_So what is the truth behind this story? What is Kristen trying so desperately to hide? I'll leave that for _you _to decide._

My whole body tensed as I felt a hand being softly placed on my shoulder. I turned around slowly, to see Kurt standing there.

And he was the last person I wanted to see.

Crumpling the paper in my hand, I dumped it in the bin on my way out of the building.

The school has a place called the 'Peace Room'.

It's supposed to be a place for students with anger management problems to go to to calm down – there's a pillow in the corner that I guess is supposed to be used to either punch or cry on, and the walls are covered in weird posters that Miss Pillsbury had taped up. A sign on the door greeted me, welcoming me to the 'Room of Peace'. Dropping my bag on the ground, I kneeled in front of the brick wall and let a tear escape.

I sat stationary as the tear swelled up, before travelling down my cheek. It hung under my neck, before falling to the ground with a soft _splat. _ That was when I heard the door open, so I wiped my cheek quickly.

"My prerogative." Kurt said quietly.

I didn't respond.

"I just thought, the lyrics would suit this situation well. I know Mr Schue said no Britney, but I could talk him into it, considering the circumstances…" I stood up angrily.

A part of me screamed to calm down; it was just hormones making me moody. But I couldn't – I was so angry, so angry at the whole fucking world.

"Kristen…please look at me. Please, just turn around." Kurt said, his voice straining. He sounded wounded…hurt.

_You're hurting him, Kristen._

I slowly turned around to face him.

And sure enough, he looked like he had just been punched in the face.

Great.

And after the anger, came the grief – like a tidal wave, it crashed down upon me with such strength that I felt physically wounded. Tears flooded down my cheeks as I began to sob hysterically. Kurt's hurt expression changed to concerned as he held his arms out. Walking into his embrace, I leaked my tears into his Alexander McQueen shirt.  
And just like the night the world fell apart for the second time, Kurt rocked me back and forth.

"Shhh now. It's okay, I'm here now, I'm here…" he murmured.

The bell screamed the entrance of first period, but neither of us moved.

"Fuck Algebra." He whispered, and we both giggled.

Leaning into his chest, I listened to his heartbeat.  
"You're heartbeat is extraordinarily fast. Are you sure you're not on drugs?" I whispered. He chuckled, sounding just like Burt.

And as he kissed my forehead, I felt calm once again.


	11. Hallelujah

_I'm behind on posting sorry guys!_

_There will be a new chapter up on Wednesday. This will differ according to where you live, but that's how it is in New Zealand :D_

_Remember to review! I have received some lovely reviews lately, keep em coming guys :D_

Chapter 11 – Hallelujah 

I woke up abruptly.

Feeling acid bubbling in my stomach, I dashed for the toilet. Leaning over the white bowl, I began to vomit. Emptying my stomach, I prayed that no one could hear me. Sitting back, I wiped my mouth apprehensively. I was in luck; I could hear Burt's loud snoring, and could faintly detect Kurt's muffled snuffling. After having rinsed my mouth out, I headed back down the stairs to the basement, lying back down in my makeshift bed.

I knew I couldn't keep this up.

Sooner or later Kurt would wake up during my morning hurl, put two and two together and figure out I was pregnant. These shirts wouldn't fit forever, after all. And who would take me shopping to buy those clothes?

And then the answer appeared. So crystal clear, I was annoyed at how obvious it was.

Quinn.

Closing my locker door tentatively, I took a deep breath and headed towards Quinn's locker. Now that she was head cheerleader again, I found her harder to approach. I was always nervous that with the uniform and position of power came the bitchy remarks and ice cold glares.

"Hey!" I said cheerfully. She gave me the classic look over, saying nothing. I sighed. This would be harder than I thought.

"Look, I need your help."

Closing her locker door, she gave me her full attention warily.

"What?" her tone was lined with menacing authority and power.

"I'm pregnant."

Silence reigned the air. Her expressionless face eventually turned firm, as she grabbed my wrist and led me forcefully to the bleachers out on the large field.

"Explain. Everything."

Seeing me hesitate, she added "Now!"

Ignoring the bell, I launched into my long tale that began nine weeks ago on a cold, dark night.

"First things first – I'm going to take you for your first prenatal visit on Saturday. Then you're going to come to the police station with me, and then the next day we'll go shopping for some new clothes."

"I'm sorry, I must have misheard you. I thought you said we were going to the _police station._"

"Oh no, you heard me correctly." She looked down at me.

"What- why? Being pregnant isn't a crime."

"But rape is." She said quietly.

"Oh." I said softly, staring at the grass.

"C'mon – we better get to class. Being pregnant isn't an excuse to throw away your education." Laughing, we both walked off to class.

Having someone to confide with is something I used to take for granted, back when I had piddly-ass problems.

But never again – this feeling of having heavy weights lifted off my shoulders was the best in the world.

It had been a while since I had felt this truly happy.


	12. Give Me A Sign

_Would just like to briefly clarify; I post chapters every Monday and Thursday. Those dates will vary according to where you live, but that's how it is in New Zealand :D_

_And Mia; I turn fourteen on 3 December O: oh happy days. _

_But anyways; thanks for reading, and don't forget to review! _

Chapter 12 – Give Me A Sign

Kurt and I sat alone in the auditorium. An hour had passed since students had flocked from the building, leaving an eerie silence behind them. We'd spent that hour designing and learning the choreography to our performance, and it was nice to escape the worry and just perform.

"Ready?" Kurt asked, before pressing play on the small, portable CD player that was located in the corner of the stage. It didn't take long for me to feel worn out; as if my legs would buckle beneath me at any moment, sending me collapsing onto the harsh stage floor. I briefly thought about the life growing inside of me – but quickly reminded myself of Quinn's reassurance that performing wouldn't harm the baby. By the time the song finished, I was exhausted; the beat was much faster than we had presumed it to be.

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to go home." Kurt said, smiling. Nodding in agreement, I started to make my way up the parallel stairs of the auditorium. Stepping out into the open, the cold breeze felt refreshing on my warm cheeks. Joining me with the CD player, Kurt and I made our way across the car park to his Navigator.

"Oh, by the way, I'm going over to Artie's on Friday – a Halo marathon calls. Is that okay with you?" I asked.

"Course! I might hang out with Mercedes then." He responded, cheerful as always.

Getting into the car, I rubbed life into my aching thighs.

"I need to get out more." I sighed, as Kurt chuckled and started the car. Turning on the radio, we sang along to classic rock and annoyed the hell out of anyone that sat next to us at the traffic lights.

The next day, a scribbled note from Quinn arrived on my desk during an excessively boring geography lecture.

Hey . You better be free next Saturday – you're going for your first prenatal. x

Shit.

Looking up, I saw Quinn wink at me, before turning to face the front. I sighed, before tearing the note into a hundred little pieces then swallowing them.

A little extreme, perhaps.

But no one could ever find out. I refused to take that risk.

Before long the bell rang, ending the immediate torture. In fact, it merely delayed it until after lunch, when I had to deal with Shakespeare. Which, in its own way, was even more boring than the geography lecture. Collecting my textbook, I hurried to catch up to Quinn.

"Hey. So, this prenatal…" I muttered, taking caution of keen hearing.

"On Saturday. I was thinking we could have a sleepover the night before with the other girls – Kurt is awesome, but you need girl time – with real girls." Despite how we both laughed at her statement, what she said was true. Kurt really was awesome – but girl time _would _be nice. It had been so long, after all.

"Sounds like a plan. So I'll go home with you after rehearsal on Friday next week?" I asked.

"Yup. See you then." She said, before making her way to her seat with the rest of the Cheerios. I grabbed a Coke and headed to the back of the hall to sit with the members of the Glee Club who were, by no means, popular. Sliding into my seat next to Kurt, we began to discuss the finer points of our performance while Mercedes and Rachel hotly debated Rachel's fashion sense.

"My grandma has better fashion sense than you."

"These outfits are comfortable and I like them." Rachel retorted.

Rolling my eyes, I listened to Kurt's high speed ramble about our costumes. Naturally, this was the issue that Kurt found the most prominent - in his mind, fashion conquers all. Presumably why he disliked Rachel so much.

By the time he'd finished, the bell had rung and it was time for Shakespeare. Overdramatically sighing – which resulted in laughter from around the table – I stood up to wheel Artie to class. When we were almost out of the hall, I glanced back at our table.

Kurt was watching me carefully, his eyebrows pulled into a frown.

And I would pay a million dollars to know what he was thinking.


	13. The Gracious Looser

_Once again, thanks for reading/reviewing! It means a lot. :D_

Chapter 13 – The Gracious Looser

I remained stationary in my seat in the choir room as the members of the glee club dawdled into class. Quinn gave me a reassuring smile as she made her way to her seat behind me. Tapping me on the shoulder, she whispered, "Don't stress about the prenatal. You'll be fine." I winced at the not-so-subtle reminder of next weekend. Saying I was nervous was an understatement. I turned around to see Kurt striding in alongside Mercedes – chin up, laughing at a joke Mercedes had just made. My stomach fluttered nervously as he sat beside me.

"How's your day been so far?" he asked softly, his deep blue eyes searching my dull, green ones.

"I'm starting to get used to everyone staring at me all the time. The whispers don't hurt any less, but I'm learning to deal with them. "I replied monotonously, fruitlessly attempting to hide any emotion.

Spare Kurt the drama, spare Kurt the pain.

Before Kurt could respond, Mr Schue walked in, clapping his hands in excitement.

"All righty. Anyone ready to perform today?"

"Naturally I have prepared our song and routine. However incompetent my partner may be," Santana shot daggers at Rachel, "I have still managed to find a song that…summed up my feelings perfectly." Passing sheet music from her bag to Brad, Santana stood up to join Rachel in front of the piano. As Brad played the introduction, I instantly recognized the song and knew what was coming.

"_Dearest darlingest momsie and popsicle…" _Rachel sang.

"_My dear father."_ Santana spoke.

"_There's been some confusion over rooming here at Shiz."_

"_But of course I'll care for Nessa."_

"_But of course I'll rise above it."_

"_For I know that's how you'd want me to respond, _

_Yes there's been some confusion for you see my roommate is…"_

"_Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe…" _Rachel's voice hung in the air.

"_Blonde."_ Everyone smiled at Santana's expression, then immediately regretted it. These weren't just lyrics - there was passion behind this performance.

"_What is this feeling so sudden and new?"_

"_I felt it the moment I laid eyes on you."_

"_My pulse is rushing."_

"_My head is reeling."_

"_My face is flushing."_

"_What is this feeling? "_They sang together, _"fervid as a flame, does it have a name…yes…_

_Loathing. Unadulterated loathing._

_For your face._

_Your voice._

_Your clothing._

_Let's just say: I loathe it all! Every little trait however small, makes my very flesh begin to crawl."_

Rachel and Santana had begun to circle each other; Santana's face inches away from Rachel's. If looks could kill, they'd have both been dead in a matter of seconds.

"_With simple utter loathing, there's a strange exhilaration in such total detestation. It's so pure, so strong. Though I do admit it came on fast, still I do believe that it can last._

_And I'll be loathing, loathing you my whole life long."_

With that line Santana lunged at Rachel like a lion, pinning her down on the ground. Mr Schue was immediately at their side.

"Break it up guys, break it up now!" pulling Santana off of Rachel – who was lying, panting on the ground in the arms of one Finn Hudson – Mr Schue turned to face the assembled group.

"Well, I'm kind of hoping that your performances will involve less…drama than this. I admire the passion, but please – no violence, yeah?" He said, holding back a snarling Santana. "So, I guess that's pretty much all for today. See you all next Friday."

Dismissed, everyone began to pick up their bags and head out. I walked over to Artie, who was busy adjusting his glasses.

"Ready for me to whip your ass?"

"Pssht, bring it on woman. If there's two things I know, it's how to dance with my wheelchair and the hiding places of the most valuable weapons in _Halo._" He said smugly.

"That's a pretty arrogant attitude for someone who's going lose." I retorted, smiling as I wheeled him out of the choir room and to his car.

"I sure do hope you're a gracious looser – I can't be bothered dealing with your crying mess in the bathroom after you have been thrashed."

And this barter continued for about half an hour, during which Artie's mom drove us to their house, and Artie set up the game.

Sitting down on his bed, I selected the preferable mode and we began to play. It didn't take long for us to realise that we both had equal strength – when I killed him, he killed me straight afterwards. While I was unfamiliar with the game, Artie knew the maps and weapon layout like his own home. Yet I still managed to kill him over and over and over, which resulted in many "BULLSHIT!"s and "MOTHER FUCKER!"s.

After an hour, the score was officially 200-200 and we decided to call it a draw. Switching the Xbox off, I flicked through Artie's extensive collection of nerdy DVDs.

"Dude, just pick one already." Artie moaned after five minutes.

"Fine." I huffed, before selecting _Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone _and slotting it into the DVD player. As the eerie intro reverberated around Artie's small room, he glared at me.

"Harry Potter? Really? Especially the first one."

"They were such cute little kids though!" I smiled, lying down on his bed.

Expertly manoeuvring out of the wheelchair and onto the bed, Artie laid down beside me. About halfway through the movie, he piped up.

"I'm really sorry, by the way."

I looked at him, confused. "Why?" I asked.

He hesitated, before responding slowly.

"About what happened with your family. That really sucks. And you know I'm also here for you whenever? We all are. Just…let me know." He looked at me fondly. I whispered a thank you before lightly kissing him on the cheek.

And in the reflection of the television, I could have sworn I saw him faintly smile.


	14. La La Lie

Chapter 14 – La La Lie

"So how was the Halo war?" Kurt questioned as I slid into my sleeping bag, pulling out my cell phone as I did so.

"Fun – we ended up calling it a draw, then watching _Harry Potter._"

"You are an absolute _Harry Potter _nut, aren't you?"

"Pretty much, yup." Flipping the screen up, I began to read the two texts I had from Mercedes and Quinn.I loved that Quinn had managed to put our social status's apart and become one of my close friends in my time of need – it was nice to have a friend who'd been through it all before.

Hey you. How was the halo war with artie? Lmao, you loser :P love you ! – Quinn

And from Mercedes:

What up? I'm too excited for Friday (:

Giggling, I quickly sent replies as I asked, "What about you and Mercedes? How was that?"

Gee thanks, Quinnie. Btw on Friday, what do we need to bring? O:

Omg, same here! Its going to be so much fun (: Can't can't can't wait! :D

"Just like every night out with Mercedes – nothing out of the ordinary happened."

Kurt sounded distant, like he was reminiscing something. Getting out of my sleeping bag, I walked over to his bed, where he was lying. Sitting on the edge, I asked, "What's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong." He said, avoiding eye contact with me. Sighing, I stood up again.

"Well when you're ready to tell me what's up, I'll be over there." I walked away, before shimmying into my sleeping bag once again.

Bring sleepover items – the sleeping bag, pillow, etc. Also bring loose, comfortable clothes for the day after. Your big day girlie ! :D

Cursing under my breath, I typed in my response.

God, don't remind me please. My prenatal has been making me a nervous wreck all freaking week. x

I looked up as I heard Kurt get out of his bed. He sat on the edge of my mattress, and began to play with my hair. I quickly added the contact to the text and sent it, eager to be with Kurt. I shuffled over, and he lay down beside me on the reasonably sized mattress.

"I feel like I'm disconnected from you, Kristen. Like there's something you're hiding. I don't know…it's stupid, I know you'd tell me anything. I just feel…distant."

He said simply, twirling strands of my hair in his fingers slowly.

I could feel him looking at me, but I stared at my hands.

"I…I'm sorry. Everything will make sense…soon. I promise." I said quietly.

"So there is something that you're hiding." Kurt breathed, his voice trembling ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry. I'm just…not ready."

Kurt looked at me, saying nothing.

I held his hand in mine, squeezing it gently.

Still nothing.

I sighed.

"I guess I get what I deserve. I'm still sorry, though." I closed my eyes.

His finger softly ran down the side of my cheek, before stopping to rest his thumb on my chin. Opening my eyes, Kurt's face was close beside mine. Feeling his sweet, warm breath washing over me, my spine tingled.

"I'll wait." Kurt leant in and kissed my forehead. I held onto that moment, desperately wanting it to never end. _Please, may this moment never end._ But after five seconds passed, it did.

He leant back, gazing into my eyes. The perfect moment was interrupted when my phone buzzed.

"Typical." I muttered, earning a chuckle from Kurt. Flipping the screen back, I read the text from Mercedes.

Prenatal? Girl what the hell is going on.

"Oh. My. God. SHIT." I screamed, sitting bolt upright.

"What? What happened?" Kurt asked urgently.

"SHIT!" I cried, typing in my response. My fingers felt numb as I pressed the wrong keys numerous times.

Okay. Um, shit? I'm thinking we move the sleepover to tomorrow. I've got a bit of explaining to do.

The reply was almost instant.

Damn right you do. I'm texting Quinn and Tina now, telling them the sleepover is tomorrow. Girl, you better explain this. If you've been messing around with Kurt…

I almost laughed.

Almost.

OMG, merc :P you know I wouldn't get with Kurt. ; )

Realising Kurt was still waiting, I turned to him.

"I…"

"This is about that thing you can't tell me, right?" he asked, his tone neither angry nor happy.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

And that was all he said.

"I really am sorry, Kurt. I promise I'll tell you-"I was interrupted by Kurt, who put a finger to my lips. "Shut up. I know." Seeing my hurt expression, he smiled faintly, before mumbling "come here" and putting his arm around me. I snuggled into him, my head resting on his chest. A trace of a smile could be found on my lips as my head rose and fell with his breathing.

I fell asleep to Kurt softly singing OneRepublic's _Lullaby._


	15. Boulevard of Broken Dreams

_Thank you guys so much for all the lovely reviews. You guys are awesome! :D_

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Chapter 15 – Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Sliding into the car seat, I held my pillow in my lap while I waited for Kurt to get into the car. Closing the door, Kurt started the sleek black Navigator and began to drive to Mercedes's house. Turning up the radio, I switched it to my favourite station where Coldplay proceeded to play.

It wasn't that Kurt wouldn't talk to me – he was – but everything seemed distant. I thought back to when I got disowned; that night and the week after. We were so close. But this dirty little secret of mine was tearing me and everything that I loved apart. Closing my eyes, I recalled those days, when everything seemed so easy and simple. Back before that night had even happened, before everything fell apart. Where our relationship was as easy as breathing, when we were young and free of troubles. It had been mere months, but it felt like decades had past.

I opened my eyes once more, allowing myself to step back into reality.

More like pushed, actually.

Yeah, pushed is more like it.

We came to a stop at Quinn's house, where Mercedes and Tina's cars were already residing in the driveway. Hopping out, I stuffed my pillow under my arm; I held my sleeping bag in one hand, with my overnight bag in the other. Kurt came inside with me to check out Mercedes' new purple highlights.

"Tina took me to her hairdresser – it was so fab." Mercedes giggled in recollection as she showed us down the hall and into Quinn's room. "I was originally going to go for different shades of brown, but Tina convinced me to go full out," smiling at Tina, she added "and I love her for that."

Entering the room, I dumped my stuff next to Quinn - who proceeded to help me unfold my sleeping bag beside hers.

"Well it looks amazing." Kurt said. "_You _look amazing."

Everyone heartily agreed as Mercedes gave Kurt a quick hug.

"Thank you, white boy. Now leave. We have girl stuff to talk about." She laughed as she pushed him out the door. Tina, Mercedes, Quinn and I sat motionless as we heard Kurt shuffle down the hallway and into his car. As the roaring sound of the Navigator's engine faded, Mercedes turned to me.

"Explain. Now."

I hesitated; turning to Quinn, she placed her hand on my shoulder while nodding at me. Looking back at Tina and Mercedes, I began to explain.

I told them everything.

As I spoke, I watched Mercedes' expression turn from defiant to concerned, concerned to shocked, shocked to angry, angry to sad, and finally, sad to sympathetic.

"That's a hot damn mess. I'm so sorry for being so bitchy with you, I had no idea."

Mercedes crawled over to me and gave me a hug. Tina smiled at me as she joined in. Before I knew it, we were all in a big group hug.

"Well, I'm sorry for keeping it a secret so long. It feels good to get that off my chest and out in the open." I said as we moved back to our sleeping bags.

"It's okay, I'm just glad we know now so that we can help you." Tina replied, winking at me.

"So, your prenatal is tomorrow?" Mercedes asked quietly.

"Yes," Quinn responded, "and she's going to be absolutely fine. Her and the baby are going to be absolutely fine."

I hugged my knees to my chest and stared downwards.

"Doesn't help the nerves."

"What is there to be nervous of?"

I felt three pairs of eyes staring at me.

"Going to the prenatal…it's finally acknowledging that this is really happening. That I really am having a baby." I said softy, as dread gurgled in the pits of my stomach.

"It will be okay. I've been through this, remember? And people will be more sympathetic towards you than they were to me if you tell them…the conditions of the pregnancy." She said tactfully.

"I guess."

Mercedes rolled her eyes and muttered "stubborn" under her breath, before standing up and getting the nail polish.

"Time to get all girly." Mercedes giggled as we put our sleeping bags in a circle, with the nail polish, food, drinks, lollies, and magazines in the middle. We helped ourselves: Quinn painting my fingernails a light pink, me painting hers a bright pink.

"I'm going for purple, to match my hair." Mercedes grinned as Tina laughed.

By the time we'd finished gazing at pictures of Jensen Ackles, watching back-to-back episodes of _Vampire Diaries _and _Big Bang Theory _– not to mention stuffing our faces - I'd all but completely forgotten what tomorrow would bring.


	16. Wake Up From Your Nightmare

_New chapter tomorrow as well :D_

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Chapter 16 – Wake Up From Your Nightmare

I awoke to Tina and Mercedes rolling up their sleeping bags.

And then it hit me.

Today was the day.

Feeling strangely calm, I rose from my makeshift bed and headed off to where Quinn directed the bathroom to be. I monotonously followed my typical routine: have a shower, get dressed, push food around the plate, brush teeth, get in the car. I didn't bother with any make up today - I wasn't going anywhere that called to look pretty. I'd save that for Kurt.

Quinn joined me in her car – small, red and flash, it made a nice change from Kurt's extravagant Navigator. As she started the car, I was greeted with the gentle purr of the engine.

"I'd grown so used to the deafening roar; I had forgotten that not all cars are big and loud."

Quinn laughed as she responded, "It's the American way."

As she drove, we chattered nonchalantly about whatever crossed our minds. I suspected that she did this just to distract me, but I appreciated it.

Generally because it was working.

The thought of the prenatal hadn't crossed my mind at all until we drove into the car park of the hospital.

My shell calm and collected, my core a hysterical mess, I walked towards the double doors of the hospital. I sat down in one of the identical, uncomfortable hospital chairs that sat adjacent to the reception desk. Staring into the distance, I heard only snippets of the conversation held between Quinn and the receptionist.

"Appointment…Kristen Taylor…prenatal...yes…thank you." Quinn said sweetly, before sauntering over to where I sat.  
"Everything is fine – they're running on time, so your appointment starts in about five minutes."

Five minutes had never felt longer.

I spent the entire time trying to calm myself down – telling myself that millions of women had gone through the exact same thing as I was now, that there was no need to freak out about it.

However this was pointless; mainly due to the fact that I wasn't so freaked out about the prenatal itself, but about the fact that it was proof – other than the morning sickness, stomach cramps, loss of appetite and wider hips – that I was pregnant.

Despite that tester, despite all the correct symptoms – I'd still harboured hope that none of these meant anything, that it was all just a dream, that I was alright.

But as the midwife entered the room and said "Kristen Taylor?" I knew it was time to wake up.


	17. An Eerie Sense of Déjà Vu

Chapter 17 – An Eerie Sense of Déjà Vu

"See, that wasn't so bad. I told you that you had nothing to worry about."

Quinn smiled at me as she drove out of the car park and onto the main road that led back to Kurt's house.

"I guess so. Thanks for coming with me, though. "I replied.

"No problem." Quinn said as she turned up the radio. Time flew by as we sang along to whatever song played, laughing at how bad we sounded. The hospital wasn't too far away from Kurt's house, so it wasn't long before Quinn pulled into Kurt's driveway.

"Here we are. Text me if anything's wrong, kay?" she asked.

"Sure. See you!" I called out behind me as I entered the house. Following the steps down to the basement, the first thing I noticed was the rack of clothes in the middle of the room.

This meant nothing but trouble.

Seeing me standing at the bottom of the stairs, Kurt smiled and clapped his hands.

"Just finished our costumes! I asked Mr Schue about the song, and he said yes – as long as we didn't do anything too inappropriate with it. So that ruled out like, 90% of my costume ideas," I momentarily shuddered at the thought of what Kurt had had in mind, "but I managed to figure it out in the end. I think you'll thank me."

"And what if I don't?" I asked. He turned slowly to glower at me.

"You. Will."

I smiled before saying, "I'm sure they look amazing."

"Of course they do. I made them. Now come try yours on!" he took my hand and skipped over to the clothing rack. Picking out all the items that made up my costume, he handed them to me before pushing me behind the privacy partition. I slipped on the black gloves, singlet top, socks, and the white belt and shorts. Looking down at my stomach, I noticed that Kurt had used material that was not too skin-hugging. I wondered if he had an inkling of what was going on and that's why, or he had just thought this fabric was nicer. Either way, I was thankful.

Stepping out behind the partition with an eerie sense of Déjà vu, I once again faced his signature look over.

"Yes, that looks perfect. I knew it would." I wound my way through the piles of fabrics and discarded clothing ideas to the small box that sat beside my mattress. Opening it up, I found my jeans and loose fitting domo shirt and went to change into them.

I thought about how I couldn't go anywhere at school without people pointing and whispering. Either people ignored me, or they laughed and mocked me. I thought about how I had to cross the hallway to avoid the football team and cheerleaders, how I was only safe when Quinn was around.

Then I thought about the performance on Friday.

And I realised that this song was a way to get out my frustration and anger.

_Friday, _I thought to myself, _here I come._

"Alright guys. It looks like Kristen and Kurt are ready to perform, so we'll leave them to it." Mr Schue said as he sat down to watch us.

"Ready, Kristen?" Kurt said quietly as we faced the wall.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I said, before turning around.

"_People can take everything away from you  
But they can never take away your truth  
But the question is...  
Can you handle mine?_

_They say I'm crazy  
I really don't care  
That's my prerogative."_

"_They say I'm nasty  
But I don't give a damn  
Getting boys is how I live  
Some ask me questions  
Why am I so real?  
But they don't understand me  
I really don't know the deal about my sister."  
"Trying hard to make it right  
Not long ago  
Before I won this fight_

Everybody's talking all this stuff about me  
Why don't they just let me live?  
I don't need permission, make my own decisions  
That's my prerogative  
that's my prerogative

It's the way that I wanna live  
You can't tell me what to do."

"Don't get me wrong  
I'm really not souped  
Ego trips is not my thing  
All these strange relationships really gets me down  
I see nothing wrong in spreading myself around."

"Everybody's talking all this stuff about me  
Why don't they just let me live?"  
"I don't need permission, make my own decisions  
That's my prerogative  
That's my prerogative."

"Everybody's talking all this stuff about me  
Why don't they just let me live?"  
"I don't need permission, make my own decisions  
That's my prerogative  
that's my prerogative .

It's the way that I wanna live  
You can't tell me what to do."

"Why can't I live my life  
without all of the things  
That people say?

Everybody's talking all this stuff about me  
Why don't they just let me live?"  
"I don't need permission, make my own decisions  
That's my prerogative."

"Everybody's talking all this stuff about me  
Why don't they just let me live? 

_I don't need permission, make my own decisions  
that's my prerogative."_

__"Whoo!" Mr Schue clapped along with the rest of the Glee Club. "Now that is a performance! Well done guys!" he said, clapping us both on the back. Kurt and I shared a high five and a brief hug, before Mr Schue announced that it was probably time to head home. As everyone headed out, Quinn, Mercedes and Tina stood before me.

"Good luck." Tina said, giving me a hug.

"He'll understand, girl. You'll be fine." Mercedes said.

I nodded my thanks as they left the room.

And then we were alone.

Kurt sat facing me. "Some performance, huh." He said softly.

I took a deep breath.

"Kurt…I need to tell you something."


	18. I've Said Too Much,I Haven't Said Enough

_This is a really big chapter, and I'll think you'll find that the next two are big as well. Yes, after this there are only two chapters left :'( _

_Don't forget to review; they make me feel awesome :}_

Chapter 18 – I've Said Too Much, I Haven't Said Enough

Kurt sat up straighter in his chair.

"Is this about the thing you couldn't tell me?" I nodded, before sitting down beside him.

My mouth opened but nothing came out.

"It's okay, Kristen. You can tell me anything." He whispered, taking my hand in his.

"Okay. It all started the night we lost at Regionals…"

_Matt sat beside me on the bed, placing his arm around me. _

"_There's always next year, babe. And remember what Mr Schue said? It's all about the journey. Yeah, we lost, but we had fun…right?"_

"_I guess so." I mumbled, before kissing him on the cheek. "I love you."  
"Love you too, Krissie. Hey, I sent you a text just before. Why didn't you reply?" I fumbled around in my pockets before realising._

"_Ugh. I left my phone in your car. Pass me your keys and I'll go get it?" I asked. Matt laughed at me before tossing me the keys to his car._

"_You always were the smart one." I playfully hit my boyfriend on the arm before making my way out of our hotel room - where all the members of the glee club were staying- and down into the car park._

_The cold air bit my skin as I pulled my coat closer. Walking slowly towards his car, which was located on the far end of the lot, I thought about what Matt had said. True, there was another chance. It would have been nice, after everything, to win though. _

_And I was so caught up in my train of thought that I didn't even notice the man crouching beside the car until it was too late._

_Pouncing, I felt the strong hands grab me and lift me into his arms. I struggled against him, trying to stab him with the car keys. But I was weak, too weak for him. He pulled me into his car and locked the doors, before turning towards me. I tried to scream, but he shoved a sock into my mouth. Gagging, I lay useless along the back seat of the car as he forcefully tore the clothes off my body. _

_I saw flashes of light, and I heard voices. I tried to move but stabs of pain from my stomach and thighs kept me down. The man fled the car, leaving me alone and naked. _

"_Kristen! Kristen! Oh my god, shit! SHIT!" I heard the panic in Matt's voice, and his scared face was the last thing I saw before I blacked out. _

_I shuffled to the counter, handing over the small cardboard box. The clerk looked at it, looked at me, looked back at it._

"_A pregnancy tester, eh? Fooling around with your boyfriend? Kids these days. So irresponsible."_

_I felt my face flush as I responded, "No, actually. And it's none of your business anyway."_

"_Whatever…" she replied moodily, before swiping it. "Here you go. Next time, you might want to use a little thing called a 'condom'."_

_I grabbed the tester and leaved angrily. How fucking dare she. She had no idea what I'd been through._

_I'd only just got out of hospital for my injuries, and it had occurred to me that I just might want to check if I was pregnant. I knew that I wasn't, but there was no harm in double checking. Getting into my car, I began to drive home - thinking about what had happened earlier with my parents. _

_I'd told them I'd been attacked, but I didn't say anything about the…rape. Too scared of their reactions, I'd shut up at that part. Matt had looked at me pryingly, but he knew it wasn't in his place to ask questions. _

_Reaching my house, I raced up to the bathroom, followed the instructions on the box, and waited._

_And waited._

_And then, it appeared._

_A little + sign where a – should have been._

_I felt a tear roll down my cheek and splash on the cold tiles of the floor._

_I was rightly and truly screwed._

"_Matt…Matt, I need to tell you something."_

"_Sure, babe. What's up?"_

"_He...I'm…pregnant."_

_Matt looked at me. "What?"_

"_He got me pregnant." _

_Silence hung low in the air, closing in around me. And still he was silent._

"_Matt?"_

_After a while, he responded.  
"They'll…everyone will think it was me. My parents, I'll be in so much shit…" _

_I took his hand in mine gently. "Yes, but once we tell them they'll understand. We'll get through this."_

"_No." he stood up. "No. I…I have to leave. Goodbye, Kristen." _

"_Wait! Matt, wait!" he calmly walked out the door, and I ran after him. "Wait! Please!"_

_I felt tears slide down my cheeks as he got in the car and drove off._

"_Please…"_

"_What is this, Kristen?" my dad asked as he picked up the positive tester out of my bin._

"_What are you doing going through my trash." I said angrily._

"_You're pregnant?" he said quietly, a vein appearing in his forehead._

"_I…dad, it's not what you think."_

"_TO HELL WITH THAT!" he yelled as his__ hand strengthened from years of carving and woodwork slammed into my fragile cheek, causing an eruption of pain and disorientation._

"_You're not my daughter. I don't know you anymore." _

_It felt as if the entire ocean slammed into me, its natural force winding me and causing me to internally double over in emotional pain. I looked up into his brown eyes, and felt no love or connection to the man that was my father. Cell phone in hand, I raced out the door, blindingly clueless as to where I should go. Running as far away from that house as I could, tears began to stream down my face as I wept for the pain that swam inside of me. My feet directed me to Kurt's house. Of course; while my body was full of grief and anger, unable to concentrate – let alone figure out where to go now – my internal compass always head due safety. Which just happened to be Kurt Hummel's house. _

_Broken down, an emotional wreck, I made my way down their concrete driveway, and tried to hold myself together long enough to knock on the door. I heard the reassuring footsteps as I hastily wiped my cheeks to slightly remove the tell-tale signs of distress. The wooden door opened to reveal the angelic face of my best friend._

"…and you know the rest."

Kurt stared at me, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly parted.

"I'm leaving you to think. I've…I've put you through a lot of shit. I know that. And I know that I'm a horrible person for not saying anything sooner, it was- it was wrong, it was cruel, I know. But I- I understand now. I shouldn't be afraid to tell you because… you won't reject me like he did."

Kurt stared at me still, silent.

I wanted to say something more, anything – but I'd said enough. Standing up to leave, I said, "If anything happens…I'm at Artie's."


	19. Here's To You, This One's For You

_Thanks for reading and reviewing guys! :D _

_I really appreciate it :}_

Chapter 19 – Here's To You, This One's For You

The buzz of my phone in my pocket woke me up.

_Harry Potter _was still playing, and I looked over at Artie who, too, had fallen asleep. Flipping my phone open, I realised that it was 11pm.

We'd managed to get through the first three movies before, evidently, falling asleep. Sighing, I opened my inbox.

I had a text from Kurt.

I didn't know whether to be excited or scared. Either way, I was nervous.

Hey. Go outside.

I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just unwrapped myself from the blanket I'd tangled myself up in, scribbled Artie an apology note – stating that I was with Kurt and sorry for ditching – and went out the front door.

And there he was.

The moonlight's soft glow made his skin a serene silver colour, his blue eyes beacons in his soft complexion that he worked so hard to maintain. I crossed the grass of Artie's front lawn to him.

"Hey." I said simply.

"Hey." He responded. "Listen, I've been thinking. And I've realised a few things.

I was hurt that you were keeping secrets from me…but now I understand. I'm glad that you told me, and I promise you that I will stand by you no matter what. We're going to get through this together." He took my hand in his and squeezed it gently.

"And second of all… the way I love you can't possibly be in a sisterly way. People will call me 'bisexual', but I will argue against that. Because I don't like other girls – I only have eyes for you."

I was sure that everyone in this town – heck, everyone in this _country_ – could hear the thudding of my heart. Surely Kurt could hear it too? Even if he did, he said nothing of it – he just continued on with his speech.

"I think you're beautiful. You're funny, smart – stubborn, granted." He winked at me as I glowered.

"You just spoiled the moment."

"Shut up. And…I love you, Kristen."

His hand gently cupped my fragile cheek as he leaned forward dangerously. My breaths became quicker and deeper, his dazzling blue eyes captivating my senses in a way I would have previously thought impossible. An adorable smile played upon his lips as a soft glow trickled through his angelic features. And then he kissed me. His soft lips moulded mine, as his hot breath washed over me. While one hand was wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer, the other hand was still on my cheek; the cold of his touch soothing the heat that was threatening to rush to my face.

I pulled away.

"I need to tell you something."

Kurt looked at me, a mixture of hurt, concern and worry in his eyes.

"Yes?"

I smiled as I responded, "I love you too."

And then we were kissing again, my hands wrapped around his neck and his around my waist.

And I thought to myself _please, may this moment never end._

But like all good things, it did. Sliding my hand in his, we set off towards his car.

"I just need to clarify something Kristen."

"What would that be?" I looked at him.

"Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?" he looked ahead.

"Yup."

His face lit up, his pure blue eyes twinkling. "I never thought I'd have a girlfriend."

"I never thought I'd get the most amazing boyfriend in the world." I replied, earning a kiss on the cheek. Sliding into the car, I turned up the radio. The Plain White T's _Hey There Delilah _came on, making me sigh.

"A corny song for a corny moment." I moaned. He laughed, before singing along.

_Hey there Delilah  
What's it like in New York City?  
I'm a thousand miles away  
But girl, tonight you look so pretty  
Yes you do  
Times Square can't shine as bright as you  
I swear it's true._

_Hey there Delilah  
Don't you worry about the distance  
I'm right there if you get lonely  
Give this song another listen  
Close your eyes  
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise  
I'm by your side_

Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah  
I know times are getting hard  
But just believe me, girl  
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar  
We'll have it good  
We'll have the life we knew we would  
My word is good

Hey there Delilah  
I've got so much left to say  
If every simple song I wrote to you  
Would take your breath away  
I'd write it all  
Even more in love with me you'd fall  
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far  
But they've got planes and trains and cars  
I'd walk to you if I had no other way  
Our friends would all make fun of us  
and we'll just laugh along because we know  
That none of them have felt this way  
Delilah I can promise you  
That by the time we get through  
The world will never ever be the same  
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah  
You be good and don't you miss me  
Two more years and you'll be done with school  
And I'll be making history like I do  
You'll know it's all because of you  
We can do whatever we want to  
Hey there Delilah here's to you  
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
What you do to me.


	20. Epilogue

_Thank you so much for reading/reviewing these guys, it means so much to me._

_I regret that this is the last chapter, but fear not – 24 December will bring the first chapter of my new Harry Potter fanfiction. Add me on author alert to be notified to when the new story comes out :3_

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Chapter 20 – Epilogue

The sunlight shone down through the trees to where Kurt and I sat in the park. His arm around me, my head resting on his chest. Together we watched young children running around the park, laughing as they played.

"You regret giving the baby up for adoption?" Kurt asked softly, as he began to twirl strands of my hair in his fingers.

"Not really. I couldn't care for her – I wouldn't raise her properly. Jenna and Adam are a lovely couple, I don't doubt for a second that they'll take care of her."

He nodded slowly, before leaning into kiss me. The butterflies I felt the night of our first kiss are still as intense now, a year later. Pulling away, he whispered "I love you" before softly kissing my forehead.

This would never get old.

As we lay there, I began to think about how much had changed over the year.

I thought about how Quinn made me go to the police, about how they finally traced down the rapist and sentenced him to death.

I thought about how my parents saw that on the news, and went over to Kurt's house to apologize to me. I'd accepted, and moved back home. My mom was giving me 24/7 attention – but that had stopped now. She'd accepted that I was practically an adult now, and had moved on.

I thought about how Matt had called me and talked to me for the first time in a year. I talked to him more often now – but he enjoyed his new life in LA, his fresh start in a new town. I was happy for him, I guess. I mean, I was no longer angry at him for leaving me when I needed him – I didn't like holding grudges – but I could never fully forgive him for what he did because he'd never actually apologized to me.

And then I thought about us- me and Kurt. I thought about how much I loved him, how much he loved me. I really couldn't see myself with anyone other than Kurt; he was who made me happy, he was who made me smile when I was sad. With his fingers intertwined with mine, with his pure blue eyes flashing me a loving gaze whenever I looked back at him.

My train of thought was interrupted by Kurt.

"Are you happy?" he asked.

"Huh?" I replied, sitting up to look at him properly.  
"Are you happy with the way things turned out."

"Ultimately…yes." I smiled at the relief in his eyes, as we once again held hands and stared out into the pale, blue sky.


End file.
